Advertising. Cigarettes. Alcohol. Women?

“Do you smoke?”

“No.”

“Do you drink?”

“Errr. No.”

“Then why the fuck are you in advertising?”

I looked at KSD with a guilt feeling that I don’t smoke nor drink and I am earning my daily bread through this noble profession (they say advertising is truth well told). And also feeling a bit lucky that he stopped at that. I am frequented by these questions at parties (guessing what I am doing there? Finishing the touchings and pulp juices), discussions at Koshy’s and Volga, and like.

What people are all the more confused is that I am a Malayalee advertising professional who doesn’t smoke nor drink. They say I am an original piece and should be kept in glass at the museum.

My room-mate Mustaq thinks that advertising people are addicted to grass. Sreesha thinks I will not take the road walked by a smoker. Fami is confused whether I am showing off or not. Suresh constantly keeps poking to me get an obvious answer as to why I don’t drink. And back to Mustaq, he doesn’t understand my occasional puffs and at the same time, lengthy speeches and advices, that I give to Ravi aka Gaddar on quitting the habit. Then there is Rafeeq, another non-smoker, who comes to me and quitely asks,

“Hey! How about a smoke?”

I grin. My looks confuse him and I ask

“When was the last time we did that?”